A Redneck Will Never Say...  Back Home    Lists      Redneck

• Duct tape won't fix that.

   

• Wrasslin's fake.

   

• No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.

   

• Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

   

• We don't keep firearms in this house.

   

• Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

   

• You can't feed that to the dog.

   

• I thought Graceland was tacky.

   

• "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"

   

• Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

   

• We're vegetarians.

   

• Do you think my hair is too big?

   

• I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

   

• Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.

   

• Who's Richard Petty?

   

• Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

   

• Deer heads detract from the decor.

   

• Spitting is such a nasty habit.

   

• I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

   

• Trim the fat off that steak.

   

• Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

   

• The tires on that truck are too big.

   

• Actually, unsweetened tea tastes better.

   

• Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

   

• My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

   

• I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

   

• Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

   

• Checkmate.

   

• She's too old to be wearing that bikini.

   

• Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

   

• Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

   

• Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

   

• I don't have a favorite college team.

   

• Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

   

• I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

   

• Elvis who?

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