AAADD Goofy Stuff / Getting Older / Back Home
Recently, I was
diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder.
This is how
it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
at my car and
decide
it needs
to be washed.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there
is mail on the
porch table that I
brought up from the mail box
earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the
car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk
mail in the
garbage can under
the table, and notice that the can
is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table
and take out the
garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the
mailbox when I
take out the
garbage anyway, I may as well pay the
bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that
there is only 1
check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I
go inside the
house to my desk
where I find the can of Coke that I
had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need
to push the Coke
aside so that I
don't accidentally knock it over. I
see that the Coke
is getting warm,
and I decide I should put it in the
refrigerator to
keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase
of flowers on
the counter
catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover
my reading
glasses that I've
been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but
first I'm going to
water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a
container with
water and suddenly
I spot the TV remote. Someone left
it on the kitchen
table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking
for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the
kitchen table, so
I
decide to put it
back in the den where it belongs, but
first I'll water
the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit
of it spills on
the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get
some towels and
wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what
I was planning
to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't
paid,
there is a warm
can of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't
have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got
done today, I'm
really baffled
because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really
tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try
to get some help
for it, but first
I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to
everyone you know,
because I don't
remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is
coming!!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
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