They're Among Us Political Crap / Back Home
Thanks to Tommy and Evelyn for this one!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
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2.
I got a call from a
Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape
Town. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,
''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying
to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ,
Cape Town is in South Africa ''
His response -- click..
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3.
A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he
was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied,
'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)
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4.
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to
see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But
they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)
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5.
An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he
could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only
a 1-hour layover in Dallas .. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
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6.
An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know
how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept
of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
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7.
A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I
said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied,
''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting
him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came
back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air
Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
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8.
A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package
to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
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9.
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who
asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what
exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but
none of these planes have numbers on them.''
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10. Senator
Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I
have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she
meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said,
''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
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11. Mary
Landrieu , La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed
in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many
times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked
and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express!''
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12.
A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to
go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss
for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what
flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some
searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man
retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a
map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?''
The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
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Now you know why
the Government is in the shape it's in!
Could ANYONE be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.