After your
hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
&Law of the
Workshop
Any tool,
when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
&Law of
Probability
The
probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your
act.
&Law of the
Telephone
If you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
&Law of the Alibi
If you tell
the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next
morning you will have a flat tire.
&Variation Law
If you change
lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than
the one you are in now (works every time).
&Law of the
Bath
When the body
is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
&Law of Close
Encounters
The
probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are
with someone you don't want to be seen with.
&Law of the
Result
When you try
to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
&Law of
Biomechanics
The severity
of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
&Law of the
Theater
At any event,
the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
&Law of Coffee
As soon as
you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.
&Murphy's Law
of Lockers
If there are
only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
&Law of
Rugs/Carpets
The chances
of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
&Law of
Location
No matter
where you go, there you are.
&Law of Logical Argument
Anything is
possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
&Brown's Law
If the shoe
fits, it's ugly.
&Oliver's Law
A closed
mouth gathers no feet.
& Wilson 's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)
&Doctors' Law If you don't feel
well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there,
you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.