Points to Ponder Back to Lists Back Home
1. Ever wonder about those people who
spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian
backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a
restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville
Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs,"
what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from
diarrhea...does that mean that 1 out of 5 enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store
or at Hooters.
6. If people from Poland are called
Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as
adults enjoy adultery?
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it
disgruntled?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight
packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
10. Why is a person who plays the
piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced
onety one?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and
clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and
dry cleaners depressed?
13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge,
would they call it Fed UP?
14. Do Lipton Tea employees take
coffee breaks?
15. What hair color do they put on the
driver's licenses of bald men?
16. I was thinking about how people
seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me
.....they're cramming for their final exam.
17. I thought about how mothers feed
their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese
mothers use? Toothpicks?
18. Why do they put pictures of
criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to
them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the
mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? Better yet, why
didn't they just KEEP them when they were taking their picture?
19. If it's true that we are here to
help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
20. You never really learn to swear
until you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of
lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come
out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations
A through G?