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South Carolina Humor Redneck / Back Home
The owner of a
golf course in South Carolina was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He
called her into his office and said,
"You graduated from the University of South Carolina
and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000,
minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."
++++++++++
A group of South Carolina friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters
returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point
buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of
miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"
the hunters asked. "Tough call," nodded the hunter. "But as I figure it
no one is going to steal Henry."
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A senior in South Carolina was overheard saying - "when the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in South Carolina." When asked why, he replied
he'd rather be in South Carolina because everything happens there 20 years
later than the rest of the civilized world.
+++++++
The young man from South Carolina came running into the store and said to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just jumped in your pickup and stole it from
the parking lot!" Bubba said, "Did you see who it was?" Young man replied,
Nope, I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
++++++
A South Carolina State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-95. The trooper
asked "Got any ID?" The driver answered, "Bout whut?"
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A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the pickup and one behind
it. Then he got back in the pickup to wait. A passerby studied the scene as
he drove by and was so curious he turned
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man
replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the
flowers?" The man answers: "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the front and flares in the back! I never did understand why.