The Stains Political Crap / Back Home
Thanks to Keith L. for this one!
RHINEBECK, NY -
Though the rest of the day was described as elegant and flawless, the bad news
from Chelsea Clinton’s wedding is a complaint from her bridesmaids of
unidentifiable stains on their dresses.
It has yet to be determined when the dresses were stained. It wasn’t until the
bridesmaids had finished performing a dance routine to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”
that someone noticed every dress was marked.
The cause is not known, but each of the stains appears to have been created by
the same substance. The stains vary in size proportionally to the size of the
bust measurement of the dress on which it appears.
After examining each dress, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton said she had
never seen that substance before. She also added, “Whatever it is, I believe it
is part of a vast right-wing conspiracy.”
Reportedly when Chelsea Clinton asked her father if he is aware of what may have
happened to the dresses, he responded, “That depends on what the definition of
‘is’ is.”
Former President Clinton said he would make sure the bridesmaids were
compensated for the dresses. “Each bridesmaid should to stop by my office with
her dress so we get rid of the evidence, I mean stain.” Clinton said. “I can
rub on them to see if I can get it out. If all else fails, I know a great
laundry guy in Chinatown who has helped me with a few situations like this in
the past.”