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Thanks to Leo for sending this one!
"A recent joint study conducted by the
Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of
traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink
coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yogurts, and shit like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as
many accidents. "