Real Stupid Real People Back to Lists / Back Home
How do these people survive?
ONE Recently, when I went to Mc Donald's I saw on
the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only
have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't
order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
McNuggets
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with
just a few items and the lady behind me put her things
on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for
the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid
her for the things and left. She had no clue what
had just happened.
THREE I saw a lady at work putting a credit
card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very
quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She
replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to
this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and
manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was
none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a
large motor home was towed into the garage. The front
of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He
told me that the driver had set the cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department
in the central office of a large bank. Employees in
the field call him when they have problems with their
computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one
of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got
smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys
have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the
"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and
should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some
ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to Emergency.
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid!