1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer's history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.
3. I totally
take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how
to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person
died.
9.I can't
remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never
know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that
you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any
changes to.
14. "Do not
machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.
15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call
back, it rings nine times and then goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I
didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen
if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
19. I think
the freezer deserves a light as much as the fridge.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with