A police officer pulls over a speeding
car.
The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it
on
cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife
says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't
have
cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the
driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut
for
once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well
dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did
or
your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second
ticket
for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife
and
says
through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I
notice
that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic
$75
fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see,
officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so
that
I
could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very
well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your
seat
belt
when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out
the
third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU
PLEASE
SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and
asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'