* When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and
not let them out until someone's bleeding.
* You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you
run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone
downstairs in the laundry basket.
* Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily
fluids on you.
* Popsicles become a food staple.
* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
* You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it
happens to be on.
* You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the
telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
* Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
* You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
* Your kid throws up and you catch it.
* You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your child chews his
toast into the shape of a gun anyway.
* You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the
bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
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